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monkeys might puke

At the age of sixteen, after finishing my last day of school, I went out to the garage with some matches and set fire to my school uniform. I was still wearing it at the time and suffered severe burns over 98% of my body. I only survived thanks to the actions of a brilliant yet unothodox surgeon who transplanted my brain into the body of a gorilla.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

"...increased by 19%..."

Went to the shop this morning to buy milk and saw Henderson. I haven't seen him since 1985, when I was called up for jury duty despite only being four years old. I was going to say hello, but when I got closer I noticed that he stank of urine and was talking to himself. Luckily he didn't recognise me.
Posted by monkeysmightpuke at 2:14 PM

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