"I don't expect to read a better novel this year."

I was walking through town today and I found myself going past the army recruitment centre. I don't know why but I decided to go in, just to ask a few questions. I filled out a couple of forms and spoke to someone for about half an hour, and was immediately given the rank of captain. This came as a surprise, but they assured me that I was perfect captain material, and that if I did well I could be a major by lunchtime.
Not only did I get promoted to major, but by two in the afternoon I had been promoted again, this time to colonel. This happened several times over the course of the afternoon, and by six o'clock I was a general. At this point I realised that no further progression was possible so I decided to retire, and spent the rest of the day reminiscing with other retired generals. Admittedly all my stories were about playing the game Cannon Fodder when I was in school, but the other generals were too old and senile to know what I was saying, so it didn't really matter.