"Terms of Material Culture in Jack London's The call of the wild and Its German Translation"

On Monday I set about the task of collecting homework from 40 students. This wouldn't normally present much of a challenge, but as I'm not a teacher I don't actually have any students to collect homework from. First I tried approaching students on an individual basis, but every one I approached responded with confused suspicion. Eventually I decided the best course of action was to find a professor with 40 students and pose as him in order to collect the homework from his students. I settled on a semiotics professor, and turned up to his class on Wednesday, when his students were due to turn in their latest assignments. In order to pass myself off as the professor I was wearing his face as a mask. Things were going well, but just as I was about to collect the homework the mask fell off. Realising that I had blown it, I jumped out the open window and started running as fast as I could. Luckily the students were too stunned to do anything, so none of them tried to stop me. Now I just have to figure out what to do with the faceless semiotics professor tied up in my basement.