Watashi wa odori o mitai desu.

I was out jogging yesterday when I saw someone who looked familiar. At first I thought it might be someone I used to work with, but when I got closer I realised that it was actor Patrick Stewart. I went over to say hello, and asked what he was doing in Leeds. He said that he was here appearing in a play at the West Yorkshire playhouse, and was on his way to the director's house to discuss his role. Then he asked if I wanted to come to his hotel room to see his collection of bowler hats. I told him that I'd rather not, as I had been through a traumatic bowler hat related experience while on holiday in Venezuela. He said he understood, but looked as if he was trying hard not to cry. I wished him luck with the play, then continued jogging for another fifteen minutes or so before returning home, all the while with the sneaking suspicion that I was being followed. At the time I assumed it was nothing, but when I left the house for work this morning Patrick Stewart was asleep on my front doorstep. I woke him up by kicking him in the head, and told him to get lost.